Eclipse

Every now and then, I am in need of my collection of links to brilliant takes on the even more brilliant, Jim Steinman-penned song "Total Eclipse of the Heart," made famous by Welsh songbird Bonnie Tyler. It happens often enough (like, oh, maybe once a year?) that I've decided it's best to compile them here. Interested onlookers might be advised to refer first to this radio show, where I make a cursory explanation of my fascination for this song (fast forward to 1:15 if you don't want to hear all the noisy arty crap). 

The most famous (and no doubt best) reworking of the song is the original (and only good ever) literal video. It used to get taken down seemingly faster than it could be posted, but seems to be stable now. (I suggest going full-screen to experience the fullness of its glory and to sidestep Blogger's dimensions not matching up with YouTube's. 

Kiki and Herb do a fairly epic version of it, to the extent that something can be "fairly epic." 

But perhaps even epicker is the Finnish band Hurra Torpedo's take. 

Roadfill is a member of the Filipino lip-sync duo phenomenon Moymoy Palaboy (check out their "Bohemian Rhapsody"). Here he is with his gramma. 

Lest it appear that I'm just in it for the laughs, here's a sincere rendition... 

...and here's an unfunny one: 

But enough of these fakers. Here's the originals, faking the song. I love how bored Jim gets halfway through. 

And for anyone who still needs convincing, here's an instructional video that should help. 

Forever's gonna start tonight. 

©2012 Jock Mooney

Roy 2

I tapped his shoulder
and as he turned
someone else tapped
his other shoulder.
Too goddamned much
love in that room
to even say hello.

Lucy in the Purple Sky With Diamonds and Pearls

Dig if you will a picture
Of yourself in a boat on a river
With trees and the sky engaged in a kiss.
How come someone calls you.
You answer quite slowly
As if I were the tears in your eyes?

Elephant flowers of yellow and green
Are always in your hair.
Look for the third eye girl in the sun
And you’re gone.

Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Ahhhhhh

Go down to Graffiti Bridge, by the fountain,
Where rock hard people eat a funky pie.
Everyone smiles, up yours, you’re a star,
They need a purple high.

Lady cab driver appears on the shore
Waiting to take you away.
Something about her mixes with the clouds
And you’re gone.

Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Ahhhhhh

Picture yourself and I in a station
With plectrum electrum engaged in a kiss.
Suddenly somebody's somebody somewhere
I guess I should have closed my eyes.

Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Ahhhhhh

Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Ahhhhhh

Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Lucy cried, I almost died
Ahhhhhh




Freak out to a BONUS JAM by Chocomang

Roy

"You came!" the saxophonist said to me. "It's just a club gig."
"Weren't they once all club gigs?" I imagined saying to him. 
"No, " I imagined him responding. "I used to be in the circus."

Me interviewed on Fun 2 Know

On a recent trip to Philadelphia, WPRB DJ Dan Buskirk invited me to be a guest on his Fun 2 Know podcast. He kindly and generously summed up our chat better than I could so I'll just quote him.

Conversation with writer, music journalist, WFMU DJ and record producer Kurt Gottschalk. Originally out of Illinois, Kurt's earned a masters at the Columbia School of Journalism in 1997. He has written about arts and politics for All About Jazz, Signal to Noise, Time Out-New York, The Village Voice, The Wire and publications in Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, Portugal and Russia. He has twice been recognized for "best feature writing" by the Connecticut Society of Professional Journalist. He also has hosted the Miniature Minotaur radio show on WFMU. He's also the author of two works of fiction, LITTLE APPLES: A STORY CYCLE and SENTENCES. Kurt's cover story on guitarist Loren Connor is the cover story of the June 2016 issue of the British magazine The Wire.

I became familiar with Kurt in the most modern of ways, a mutual Facebook friend neither of us really know saw our shared interests and recommended that we became Facebook friends. We both have avid interest in jazz music, 20th century rock and pop music and experimental sounds. We met for lunch about a year ago when Kurt was down from New York City for a Philadelphia trip and when we planned to meet up in early summer for a show from the Philadelphia chamber choir The Crossing I took the opportunity to sit Kurt down to record a conversation at the show kitchen table studio. We discuss Kurt's love of avant gardist Anthony Braxton as well as his record collecting roots, getting cheated by the Kiss Army, living in Chicago in the 90s, John Zorn's New York, Kurt's work with guitarist Loren Connors, the late Bernie Worrell and being visited by Prince in his dreams.

You can hear the whole episode here. 

My first cover story for the Wire and one of my favorite guitarists. This was a pleasure to work on.

January 13, approximately 11:30 pm

We shared our first kiss
in the bitter cold -
she looked girlish, 
suddenly cautious. 
A few strands
of her black hair
blew between our lips
after the first, brief, 
mouths almost meeting 
and the second and third,
with the cab driver waiting.

On the way to the subway 
I listened to Diamond Dogs
because Bowie isn't here anymore.

Czech Pop (in Czech)

My friend Pavel Klusák interviewed me for this article on Czech pop of the '60s and I can't read what I said.

Boohbayler

Click on the YouTube Doubler link at the bottom to make it go. 

YouTube Doubler

Cough Piece (after Ono)

Clear throat during a concert or recital, to be performed during a leap second.

Composer's statement: Cough Piece (after Ono) continues in the Fluxus philosophy of questioning what constitutes "performance" by using as its medium a gestural act (the clearing of one's throat) usually considered to be prepatory for performance. By placing it in a concert setting, the piece is performed for an audience, albeit one which will likely either ignore or be perturbed by its execution. 

Note: The performance of Cough Piece (after Ono) should not last longer than one second and should only be undertaken at an interval when UTC time is adjusted by one second. A commiserate piece, involving coughing for an hour during a concert when Daylight Savings Time adjustments are made, is also permissible. A third variation, involving coughing for a full day, requires the performer to find and attend (but not organize) a 24-hour concert on February 29 of a leap year.

Performance note: Premiered at the Naumburg Bandshell, Central Park, New York City on January 29, 2015 at 8pm (00:00 UTC) during a performance of John Adams' Shaker Loops by Ensemble LPR. A recording of the performance can be found here. 

For more information, see the Leap Second Event Facebook page. 

some upcoming things i've got coming up.

should i have posted this earlier? maybe so. probably. but i'm playing twice this weekend and both are early starts so you might still be able to do that thing you really want to do after.

i'll tell you about them, then i'll tell you about the next wfmu literary guild reading and also i'll tell you about a new story i wrote. this is what they told us to do in journalism school. tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em what you told 'em. like that. telling 'em about telling 'em is my own innovation, tho. (in this example, you are "'em."}

ok, here goes. 'em ready?

i was flattered and pleased to be asked to be a part of the nyc book release party for nina hart's new collection of stories that bears the title somewhere in a town you never knew existed somewhere. it'll be a round robin of written word spoken and unwritten music played with miguel frasconi. besides playing a littel something with miguel, i'll be reading a littler something i wrote called mother's waiting.

Nina Hart Book Launch with Kurt Gottschalk and Miguel Frasconi

Saturday, May 16, 6-8 pm

Word Up Books

2113 Amsterdam Ave., (@ 165th St.)

Manhattan Island

https://www.facebook.com/events/1579449145664025/

then, the following day, nina, miguel and myself will head downtown to do something shorter at a benefit for abc no-rio. the music goes on 'till 10:30 or so but we'll be on from 5:40 till 6 in the back yard.

Inside / Outside COMA Benefit for ABC No Rio

Sunday, May 17, 5:15-10:30

ABC No-Rio

156 Rivington

Manhattan Island

https://www.facebook.com/events/1606702136241556/

then, on june 20, i'll be reading something shorter than the thing i'm reading this weekend, which even that isn't very long, at kgb bar. these have been really fun nights. looks like this time around will be bronwyn c., dave mandl, amanda nazzario, dan bodah and myself.

WFMU LIterary Guild Reading

Saturday, June 20, 8:30-10:30

KGB Bar

85 E. 4th St.

Manhattan Island

http://www.kgbbar.com/

ok, so one other thing. the latest of my holiday stories is posted at lulu. and get this: it's called "mother's waiting"! the same name as the story i'm reading this weekend! you can get that (and a couple few other things if you like) up at Lulu.

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/SpearmintLit

that's all for now. thanks for reading this. i've got some beautiful stuff pulled for the radio show tomorrow, so tune in to wfmu at 3 pm.

(p-funk, july 15)

happy spring. 

Applause

(found in an old notebook)

I like clapping
Like Christmas
Like ritual
Like noise
Like everything
Like everyone
Likes Christmas
Likes clapping
Likes ritual
Would it be easier
To start clapping?
To go caroling?
When everyone
Else does?

I like clapping
Like slapping
like monkeys
Like a moment
To misbehave
To make some noise
Wouldn't it be better
To do it all the time?

I like clapping like
Contusions like
Confusion like
Group dynamics
Like dynamite
Like everything might
Happen if I refuse
But nothing does
Just like applause
Like out of step
"Did you forget?"
Like firecrackers
On cue
Did you?

I like laughing
I like yelling
I like falling
I like things
When they
Don't happen
On cue.


ZS from TERROREYES.TV on Vimeo.

Take Your Action Figure to Work Day

Minotorious Rexenbottom joined me at WFMU yesterday to mark Take Your Action Figure to Work Day. I'm not sure he's an action figure. He's kind of lazy for all that, but we had a good day. 

First we stopped by Dichter Pharmacy for $1 bialy Friday. 

Then we caught the A train downtown, 

transferred to the D at Columbus Circle, 

then caught the R at Herald Square. 

We had a little time to kill so we stopped by the Strand

before heading over to Grace Church for the Bach Meditation. 

Leaving a can of soup in the basket,  

we headed into the chapel and took a seat. 

We particularly enjoyed the Prelude & Fugue in E-flat Mayor, which was divided to open and close the recital. 



Afterwards, we got back on the R

and got off at the huge new Fulton Street station.

then walked over to the PATH station to catch the train to Jersey City.

After stopping at the Curry Hill truck to pick up lunch

we headed to the station, did our chores and some show prep and we were on the air!

You can listen to yesterday's show by clicking here. And please consider supporting WFMU. 

We've got a story to tell...

Optic Nerve - Performer Announcement! from Optic Nerve on Vimeo.

Ebb of Year Report

Mindy told me I had an ebb year last year. She wasn't judging, she was reacting to my saying that I felt like I hadn't gotten much done in 2014. This was back in the fall, on the telephone. Mindy lives in Chicago.

She said that it was OK to have an ebb year, that everyone has them, but I didn't like the sound of it. I don't want an ebb year. I suppose it gave me a bit of a start.

Or a restart. It pushed me to finish two stories for my collection of holiday tales – one for Thanksgiving (simply called "That Thanksgiving") and one for St. Lucy's Day. I wanted there to be a name day story in the collection and St. Lucy's story is so great that she inspired me to write about my own Lucy, or Lucia, in "The Enculeation of Lucia."

OK, give me a second here. “Write a short story every week," Ray Bradbury once said. "It’s not possible to write 52 bad short stories in a row.” I still haven't been that productive but having finished two more stories made me feel like a first draft of the collection is within grasp. I am working on a rather vulgar thing for St. Patrick's Day now and finally have an idea for a Mother's Day story and I think then I'll be nearly done.

That said, I'm in no way convinced that it's impossible to write 52 bad short stories in a row.

Anyway, what's your favorite holiday?

As for the stories, I've been continuing to make them available for limited times via Lulu and I've had occasion to read two of them out loud via the WFMU Literary Guild reading series, which happens once per quarter at KGB Bar in the East Village. You can see a video of me reading excerpts from one of them (a series of imagined letters to Prince) as well as my stand-up comedy debut and retirement here.

So yeah, that's something else I did this year. In keeping with my general policy of saying "yes" to whatever people ask me to do (this is not a binding rule so don't get any bright ideas), I accepted an offer from a fellow named Andrew Singer to do five minutes or so of stand-up. He runs a night at Sidewalk Cafe that is all people he invites who have never done stand-up comedy before.

Another thing I did was travel, which is my favorite thing to do. Was lucky enough to make another trip to my beloved Prague (where I saw Bob Dylan for the first time) and went back to Lisbon as well, while covering a couple of very nice music festivals. I would link to the articles but they were for publications that don't put stuff online. Funny, I used to prefer writing for publications that didn't put stuff online. And I spoke on a panel about the future of music at the Guelph Jazz Festival Colloquium in Ontario which was kinda hilarious.

I was also – and this was exciting – asked to contribute a chapter to a book by the brilliantly mad Jon Rose. He was soliciting fake music criticism written prior to 1985, all of it to be published under pseudonyms. There is, of course, huge concept and backstory to the book, which I suggest you buy. I'm not telling anybody what I wrote but if you correctly guess which one is mine I'll tell you.

Other than that it was business as usual. I contintued to listen to and write about music I love. I continued to make music as well, if only occasionally, but Ecstasy Mule played a piece I conceived called "Wild Bill's Burro" at the WSB100 William S. Burroughs centennial festival in NYC. And I entered my 8^th year of broadcasting at WFMU.

Speaking of WFMU, I am involved in a tribute to the Residents on January 31 at Art House Productions in Jersey City. It's kind of a jukebox musical spearheaded by Amedeo Turturro with musical direction by Scott Williams and a host of your favorite WFMU on-air personalities performing. You can find more information here.

I also wrote a profile of the Residents which will be in the upcoming issue of White Fungus.Oh, and I decided somewhere along the line that I should have a website, so I made one on one of those rinky-dink free services. It's imperfect but, hey, it exists.

Here's to mo flo in 2015!

Kurt

Corporate Rock Does Still Suck, Right Stevie?

Last weekend, producer engineer, musician and self-appointed conscience for the spirit of rock Steve Albini spoke at the the annual Face the Music conference in Melbourne, where he argued that digital distribution has given musicians the power to control and market their own music. Ever a champion of the DIY aesthetic, his viewpoint is limited but isn't wrong. Musicians who were making money are making less thanks to online streaming and lagging record sales. But more musicians can record their music at home and make it possible for people around the world to hear it. Whether or not that's better for the industry, that much is true, And it's at least a better lot than that of centuries of musicians (right up until the last one) whose music is lost forever. When people say musicians are making less money from their music, they time and time again don't figure in the musicians that used to make nothing and now might make enough for a case of beer - or build enough support to venture a regional tour. 

Those are the artists Albini is speaking for, and he's right. For struggling musicians (who aren't guaranteed a record contract to begin with) things certainly aren't worse anyway than they were in teh heyday of the record industry. Albini likes to talk about the industry and in general he's pretty good at it. But speaking at Melbourne he chose a strange target to represent the dying dinosaur of the big record label. 

“If your little daughter does a kooky dance to a Prince song don’t bother putting it on YouTube for her grandparents to see or a purple dwarf in assless chaps will put an injunction on you," he said. "Did I offend the little guy? Fuck it. His music is poison.”

Prince has notoriously fought against his music being posted on YouTube. I'm not sure why that resulted in so much derision being cast his way because posting songs or albums to YouTube is essentially bootlegging and with crap sound quality to boot, but there you go. He became the source of a lot of jokes for not wanting his work distributed for free and without his permission. I don't know that he ever went after someone for posting a video of their child dancing to one of his songs, however. The Recording Industry Association of America threatened to as a general principle, but I don't know that Prince did.

[EDIT: A reader reminded me of the 2007 case Lenz v Universal Music Corp., in which the US District Court for the Northern District of California ruled that copyright holders must consider fair use when issuing take-down notices for videos posted on the Internet. The case concerned a video of a young girl dancing to Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" and was filed by the Universal Music Corporation at a time when Prince wasn't under contract with the label, although he did issue a statement at the time saying he intended to "reclaim his art on the internet." This is no doubt what Albini was referring to, but doesn't affect my larger argument here.]

The RIAA, according to its website, "supports and promotes the creative and financial vitality of the major music companies." Not individual artists but companies. Now this is going to get a bit cloudy (as things often do with Prince) but let's think about what a company is. Most people who aren't Mitt Romney don't think that corporations and people are the same thing. The RIAA represents the industry - corporations - and, by extension, artists who are a part of that industry. 

In 1994, Prince declared himself dead, taking a symbol as his name because his record label, Warner Brothers, wouldn't let him release what he wanted. In essence, he said, he didn't own his name. The two parties went through five years of hostile (and sometimes hilarious) negotiations before Prince was finally freed from his contract and took back his given name. 

From 1999 until 2014, Prince acted as the biggest DIY artist on the planet. He recorded and produced his own albums. He paid for the compact discs to be manufactured and he hired record labels (EMI and then Universal) to distribute them. The labels didn't get a share of profits, they were paid for a service. 

And what was Steve Albini doing in 1994? He was producing a record by Bush for Interscope Records that debuted at #1 on the Billboard album charts. At the time 53% of the Interscope's stock was owned by Atlantic Records. The following year it was bought out by MCA Inc. Today it is a part of the Universal Music Group. So who's industry here?

OK, so I'm stacking the deck a bit. Albini has by and large not only championed independent artists but worked in his own studio with punk/indie artists and labels. But what's his beef with Prince? The assless chaps were decades ago and "purple dwarf"? Potentially offensive but more than that, Prince had a better line anyway with "from the heart of Minnesota, here comes the purple Yoda."

"Did I offend the little guy?" Albini carried on. "Fuck it. His music is poison." What, Mr. Albini, does that have to do with anything. Prince should be a champion to DIY artists. He spent 15 years exploring how huge artists might survive without record labels. Sure, being a millionaire doesn't sound very punk, but faulting someone for their success is pretty petty. And unless all the contestants on American Idol have given up fantasies of dizzying wealth and popularity, living at the top of the heap without relying on record labels is a relevant part of the equation - and something I don't see Paul McCartney, Madonna or Taylor Swift risking to venture. I'm sure Albini doesn't like them either, but perhaps he should think again about what Prince has accomplished. Whether or not he likes the music, Prince is hardly corporate rock. And corporate rock still sucks. 

SST gif stolen from WFMU Station Manager Ken.

P

Considering Prince in the Middle of the Here (Ever Mindful of the Past)

Putting out two albums on the same day is a bold move. Guns N' Roses, Bruce Springsteen, Henry Threadgill and Tom Waits have all flexed that particular muscle. In 1981, Frank Zappa issued three volumes of the aptly titled Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar at the same time. And at the end of September, Prince joined the pack with s solo record and an album by his new band, 3rdEyeGirl.

It's on odd pair of records. Prince has done plenty of multiple releases in the past but never have they been as unbalanced as are Art Official Age and Plectrum Electrum. He has plotted multiple-disc sets that never came to pass (notably Crystal Ball, which ended up scattered across several releases). His sets too big for a single CD date back to 1982 and the double LP 1999, the initial digital issues of which had one song cut so it would fit on a single disc. Much of Crystal Ball ended up on the double LP and double CD Sign 'O' the Times. The 2002 live collection One Nite Alone came in three- and four-CD editions. 2009's Lotusflow3r and MPLSound came packaged with a third CD, Elixer, by protoge Bria Valente. Emancipation (1996) was a triple-CD set. An outtakes collection from 1998, which revived the name and title track "Crystal Ball" (one of his greatest songs) included as a fourth CD the largely acoustic album The Truth, which might well have been remembered as one of his best records had it been put out on its own. A fan club version of Crystal Ball also included a fifth disc of instrumental tracks called Kamasutra. Prince is no stranger to grand gestures.

He's also no stranger to complicating things for himself. From changing his name to a symbol to refusing interviews while waging a battle with his record label, the man has a way of always giving people something other than his music to talk about. And the thing to talk about now seems to be his stripped down rock band: no keys, no horns and he the only male. 3rdEyeGirl has been playing hell out of his old songs for a little while now and it makes sense that he wants them to have some currency. Unfortunately the set of songs he wrote for Plectrum Electrum, the 3rdEyeGirl album, doesn't stand up to the arrangements of old tumes he did for them when he was making them into his own cover band. There's a few solid cuts ("Wow," "Fixurlifeup," "Boy Trouble") but most of the first half sounds like he was writing for Led Zeppelin and most of the second half like TLC, which makes for an inconsistent listen to say the least.

To say there's a few good songs on Plectrum Electrum is almost a given. Every Prince record has at least a few good songs. But Art Official Age, the new album he recorded largely by his lonesome, made me remember what made great Prince records great. The man deals in concept in (public) life and in art. He seems at times to become so enamored with symbolism (right down to his symbol pseudonym) that the reasons – what actually is being symbolized – become less important than the artifice. That might not help his reputation but it doesn't exactly hurt his music. His best records have been comprised of fantastically inventive songs hung on a vaguely constructed storyline, generally an us-versus-them or good-versus-evil setting: the New Power Generation against the forces that want to keep them (that being us) down; the positivity of Lovesexy up against the dark force of the Spookyelectric; the Rainbow Children fighting whoever they (we) were fighting. The stories never quite make sense, but you can't criticize him for that unless you're also going to call Janelle Monae, George Clinton and Pete Townshend to task. If you're going to make a rock opera make sense, you're going to have to write as many words as Neil Peart does.

The skeletal story of Art Official Age concerns Prince waking up after 45 years in suspended animation to find himself in a utopian society. That hardly matters because the story barely figures in to the record (it's primarily delivered in a pair of spoken interludes) but there's something about it being there that gives the man some muscle. He may not be up to much where high concept albums are concerned, but feeling like he's up to something seems to make him dig in and work. Prince can lay down a groove in his sleep. When he's at his best, however (which, at the risk of damning him to past successes, would be the five years after Purple Rain), he's creating complex, multi-layered music. Today, on the heels of a half dozen solid r'n'b albums (each with a few great tracks), he's back to thinking big. Art Official Age is contemporary, complex, intelligent and excellent.

Which raises the question, why did he decide to outshine himself? It's doubtful, of course, that he sees it that way. Plectrum Electrum is a band album; Art Official Age is a solitary effort. Two sides of his coin. But another question arises as well. Why are there versions of the song "Funknroll" on both albums? Is it meant to demonstrate the two approaches? If so, Prince pretty clearly beats out his own band. But maybe he just likes the song. Back in the '80s he released the same version of "When 2 R in Love" (a sappy and masterfully produced ballad) at least three times. It's probably best not to ask questions that won't get answered. Four years after his last record and eight after his last great one, we get one good and another great. As he sings in his latest call-to-arms, "Finally again we meet at last / middle of the here, nevermind the past."

Prince's appearance on Saturday Night Live last weekend led me to finally putting down some thoughts about the records but I included clips from the Arsenio appearance in March primarily because it was a better performance but also because it appears as if Arsenio retained rights to post it. Between P and NBC it's unlikely any links to the SNL spot will stay live long, but at the moment it can be heard via the player above and seen here and here. The full episode can be watched legit here. 

UPDATE: I just saw that Rolling Stone posted the SNL performance which may be more likely to be permanent. 

UPDATED!

George Clinton reading George Clinton.

Neve Campbell Reading Celine.

Italo Calvino reading Italo Calvino.

Gertrude Stein being a painting.

José Saramago being a statue.

I Want To Be a Meme

A couple of months ago, I disabled the Facebook Messenger app on my cell phone. I had heard, from people I trust and don't consider to be alarmist, that the app could turn itself on, activate your phone or camera and record conversations or phone calls. Messenger, it was explained to me, transformed your phone into a surveillance device, and even if it was only interested in consumer behavior, it meant you were being watched.

We all have our lines and this was mine. Although the Messenger plot turned out to be grossly exaggerated, the thought that my pocket computer (this thing that only by an accident of history is called a "phone") could be used against me struck an emotional chord. My phone is my friend and I didn't want my friend turned against me.

I have other friends – flesh and blood friends, not pieces of hardware – who draw the technology/privacy line much closer to home than do I. Some of them won't use Facebook at all, won't do Google searches or carry a cell phone, out of concerns of their privacy being invaded. I understand that. Most of them are a little older (and likely a little wiser) than me. If they hadn't passed puberty by the Summer of Love, they at least remember it. They grew up with a mindset of personal freedom and beating the system.

But I graduated from high school in the auspicious year of 1984. George Orwell's novel of the same name didn't strike me as cautionary when I read it for English class, it just seemed like a foretelling of the inevitable. I grew up under punk and under the mindset not of beating the system but simply surviving it. So while the Messenger rumors unnerved me, I had never really expected much different. At some point in my life, I'd always thought, I would more than likely be required to carry some sort of monitoring device. We all would.

A lot of the punk I was listening to in high school was revolutionary, of course, in the literal sense of preaching political rebellion. But the post-Orewellian songs rang truest to me, the songs that told us that in the scheme of things we were nothing but consumers. We were numbers. If Joe Strummer disparaged the suited class that was "turning rebellion into money," Thomas Franck informed us that we'd been suckered into buying it nevertheless. So explicit has our duty as consumer citizens been made since then that one of the most common things our elected leaders tell us in the face of a crisis is to go shopping. For the love of freedom, keep spending money.

Consumerism as patriotism was engrained in our cultural consciousness after Sept. 11, 2001. In the immediate aftermath of the terrorist attacks 13 years ago, then President George W. Bush addressed the nation in what Time magazine called the "finest, strongest, clearest, several-times-chill-giving speech of his life." And it was a great speech, defining the enemy and promising swift action. It was probably what the country needed to hear. In the conclusion, he turned the tables to say what the country needed to do. "I ask you to live your lives and hug your children," he said. "I ask your continued participation and confidence in the American economy. And finally, please continue praying for the victims of terror and their families, for those in uniform and for our great country." Bush defined the three tines of a better future: God, children and shopping. Buildings can be rebuilt but the economy can't be allowed to collapse. Then New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, looking understandably exhausted, actually put shopping before children on the day after the attacks.

So shopping is our civic responisbility but we're not yet electronically checked to make sure we're meeting the obligation. The Messenger monitoring scare was just a bit of mass paranoia. It will be a relief when that day comes, though, when we don't have to worry about whether it's happened yet or not. In the meantime, however, I still haven't reinstalled Messenger. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just one final throw against fictional fears.

In truth, I never expected privacy. I never expected individuality. I just want to be a meme. Message me.