Stranded on the Prairie

I crashed on the prairie while trying to see my dad
With his little cats who make my nose run real bad
I was stranded on the prairie, afraid, alone
Trying to figure a way to get an airplane back home
But how was I to know that the wreckage of my plane
Had been iced up and snowed in in the Prairie State

Meanwhile, back in New York

Baby, baby, let's make radio
You know your old-time DJ is sucking up the snow
He's stranded on the prairie, sad as he can be
So come on pretty baby, just you and me

Meanwhile, back on the prairie

The Lincoln impersonators had me on the run
When something heavy hit me like a bushel of sorghum
When I woke up and my heart started to hate
I had a strange feeling I was John Wilkes Booth bait
I felt someone eyein' and I looked to see
That's when I found out they was aimin' at me
Mary Todd, get me outta here!

Meanwhile, back in New Jersey

Baby, baby, let's make radio
You know your old-time DJ is sucking up the snow
He's stranded on the prairie, sad as he can be
So come on pretty baby, just you and me

Meanwhile, back on the prairie

I jumped out of the snowbank, I finally got away
I was frantic, worried about what Station Manager Ken Freedman would say
So I jumped in the cornfield and started to crawl
My chance of makin' airtime gettin' pretty small
So I thumbed down a mule that was headed my way
And I reached Jersey City in about half a day
When I got to Montgomery Street I was almost dead
Heard him talkin' to my listeners, and this is what he said

Babies, babies, that DJ's no good
Babies, babies, should have understood
You can listen to me just as long as you please
So come back pretty babies tune in to me
Cause I love you (I love you, I love you, you're fine babies)
Cause I love you (So damn fine)
Cause I love you (I got no job, the marathon's in March)
Cause I love you (Did I show you my bandwidth?)
Cause I love you (I'll take you for a ride)
Cause I love you (Big major 7th ending or some shit)